If you’ve been staring at the same guy in a room for an entire night, chances are he’s not going to ask you out anytime soon. So what do you do? Make him feel special and stand out from the rest of the crowd. No, that’s not it either. The answer lies in flirting without being obvious about it. Flirt isn’t something you can do consciously or unconsciously, but rather somewhere in between.
Just like how people act naturally, with little or no thought at all, so does flirting work the same way too. If you keep your flirting subtle enough, then it goes almost unnoticed by others. And when coupled with the right words and expressions, then it just becomes irresistible to anyone we happen to be talking to at that moment too. Here are some of the best ways to flirt without seeming obvious about it:
Be a little mysterious
When trying to be more flirtatious without being obvious, one thing you can do is be a little mysterious about it. This doesn’t mean you have to be a psychopath, but rather that you don’t have to be overly open about your intentions. If you like someone, then don’t tell everyone about it.
If you’re talking to a girl and you want to flirt with her, then don’t talk about all the boys you’re crushing on at the moment. It’s not that you should act like you have a crush on her, but rather that you don’t have to be overly open about it either.
You can be mysterious about it and be almost as flirtatious with her as you would be if you weren’t trying to be mysterious at all. It will seem that you have much more interest in her than you do.
Pay attention to body language
One of the worst things people do when they’re trying to flirt is that they try to be too obvious about it. They’re constantly touching the other person, staring into their eyes, and at other times, smiling.
But all of these things (which are generally signs of a friendly person) are more of an invitation for a date than anything else. If you’re at a party, then flirt with someone without being obvious about it by paying attention to their body language too.
Look them in the eyes when you talk to them, touch them lightly, give them space while they’re talking to you too, and at other times, look around the room while you talk to them. These non-verbals add a lot to the conversation and help you flirt with them without being obvious about it.
Develop a sense of humour
Humour is a great way to flirt without being obvious about it. It doesn’t mean that you have to fall on the floor and act like a buffoon the entire time though. Instead, just keep the conversations light and funny.
When you do this, you’ll not only appear more approachable but you’ll also add more to the conversation without being obvious about it. There might be a few moments when you’re talking to someone and you hit upon something really funny that has nothing to do with them.
You can try to pass off this as a random thought that just popped into your head, but it’s something you want to share with them. You have to be careful though, in case you make it sound like you have something to do with them or they have something to do with you.
You can do this by saying things like, “That sounds like something we should talk about sometime,” or “You know, we’ve been talking about that for a while and we’ve just not been able to find the time to sit down and discuss it properly yet.”
Show confidence through words and actions
This might seem a little obvious and a lot cliché, but it’s worth saying nonetheless. When we’re trying to flirt without being obvious about it, we want to convey a sense of confidence through our words and actions. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a diva, but rather that you need to be yourself. If you’re feeling nervous, then don’t try to force yourself to be more confident than you are.
If you’re confident in everything that you do, then don’t try to change yourself to be more approachable when you’re trying to flirt with someone. Instead, show the same confidence that you would in everything else you do. If you’re a lot more confident in who you are when you talk to people, then don’t try to hide it behind flirty words and actions.
Don’t forget to add some compliments
If you don’t have much to say in the way of compliments, then you’re missing out. While they don’t have to be overly elaborate or long, they do have to be genuine compliments. Say something like, “You look really good today,” “You smell nice,” or “I like your hair today.” These types of things, when added to your conversations, really can make someone feel special. And when you do this, don’t forget to include a compliment for yourself too.
Try to make it sound like you mean it. As long as you don’t come across as too fake, then you can add in a compliment without being obvious about it. This isn’t something you have to do when you’re trying to flirt with someone, but rather something you can do to make the conversation more interesting than it would be otherwise.
Conclusion
If you’re trying to flirt with someone you like, then you want to do it subtly. You don’t want to be overly obvious about it and appear like a bull in a china shop. However, at the same time, you don’t want to be too shy as well. What you need to do is find a healthy balance between these two extremes.
Friendly and flirtatious non-verbals go a long way in showing someone that you want to approach them, but you’re not ready to do it just yet.
All in all, the best thing to do is to find a way to flirt without being obvious about it. This can be done by paying attention to your body language, developing a sense of humour, and complimenting others without forgetting to do the same for yourself as well.
