The end of your best friend’s relationship can feel like a punch in the gut. Even if you two haven’t dated, been asked out, or taken things any further than hanging out from time to time, the fact that your buddy is now single can feel like a slap to the face. It doesn’t matter how much you love your friend or how supportive you are as a couple; sometimes relationships just don’t work out.
As such, finding yourself single again after your BFF has moved on can be difficult. You want to maintain and strengthen your friendships with other friends so that they stay positive and supportive of both you and your new love interest.
But what should you do when your BFF ends things with their ex-girlfriend? How can you maintain strong friendship ties while also giving them space to heal? Here are some tips for keeping things friendly even though they’re no longer together.
Be a supportive friend
You may be feeling a little raw after your BFF ends things with their ex, but as a supportive friend, you should try to avoid getting upset or angry. If you get upset, you may end up saying things you don’t mean or doing things you don’t want to do. So, try to be supportive and positive when speaking to your BFF and, if they ask you how they can get over their ex-girlfriend, try to be encouraging and positive about the new relationship.
If you’re feeling upset, you may find it helpful to take a step back and think about how you’re feeling. Remember that this was a tough breakup, and you may be feeling a bit raw. If you’re finding yourself getting upset too often, try taking some time to calm yourself down before you talk to your BFF again. You may also want to talk with a friend or therapist to help you process your emotions and avoid lashing out at your BFF.
Don’t try to make your friend jealous
You may be tempted to try to get your BFF jealous of their ex-girlfriend’s new relationship. You may even be hoping that by making your BFF jealous, they’ll get back together with you. While it’s entirely possible that your friend will get back with their ex, there’s a chance that your friend doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now.
They may be trying to figure out what they want in a relationship and how to go about finding it. By trying to get your BFF to be jealous of their ex, you’re probably putting a lot of pressure on them. While you may be hoping that your BFF will start dating again, your friend may not want to be in a relationship right now and may not even be ready to start dating again.
Stay in touch but don’t be clingy
As a supportive friend, you need to stay in touch with your BFF. This doesn’t mean that you two need to stay in constant contact all the time, but you should let them know that you’re thinking about them and that you’re there for them if they need you. This may be especially important for your BFF if they’re still in the stage of grieving the end of their relationship.
But, as tempting as it may be to call, text, or email your BFF every day, you should try to rein in your clinginess. If you feel like you need to talk to your BFF every single day, try to instead distract yourself or put your phone on silent so that you don’t keep thinking about them.
If you find yourself trying to text your BFF constantly, take a break so that you don’t feel so tied to them. Keep in mind that, while it’s understandable that you want to stay connected with your BFF, they may also be feeling a bit overwhelmed. This will make it harder for them to keep in touch with you, which may be okay.
Show up to hangouts and parties together
As a supportive friend, you need to do your best to make sure that your BFF doesn’t feel completely alone. This may mean that you all go out to hang out or that you all meet up at a party or other social event. This will help your BFF feel like they aren’t completely alone in their feelings. They may also be feeling like they’re “walking on eggshells” around you, so being around other people may help ease their minds.
If you only go out with your BFF when there are no other friends present, try to make an effort to include other people in the plans as well. This may be especially important if your BFF has a reputation for being very social and may not want to be stuck in one place if they don’t feel like they can talk to anyone.
Be honest but respectful
As a supportive friend, you need to be honest with your BFF. This doesn’t mean that you need to tell them everything that’s going on in your life or that you need to spill every detail of your dating life. This is different than being dishonest, though. If your BFF asks you what you want for dinner or how their new relationship is going, be honest but respectful.
This isn’t the time to lie to your BFF because the truth may be difficult for them to hear. Try to avoid talking about the breakup while it’s still happening. If you want to talk about how things are between you and your BFF, do so in a way that isn’t about how bad things are between your BFF and their ex.
Finding yourself single again after your BFF has moved on can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be a completely negative experience. As a supportive friend, you can help your BFF through the breakup and guide them towards healthy dating habits.
That means that you need to be there for your BFF in a serious way, but you also need to remember to rein it in and not try to make your ex-girlfriend jealous or try to pressure them into dating right away.
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