In today’s society, it’s nearly impossible to be yourself. Everyone is trying to act as happy as possible and hide their insecurities under the umbrella of social graces. You grow up learning that your self-worth comes from how well you fit into society. As a young child, you begin to worry about what people will think of you if you date or do not date anyone. Dating advice articles are great for getting you started, but you might want to put them down for a while. They are only going to make you more anxious if you read them.
Even though your parents are probably going through the same thing at your age, no one talks about it because that’ll make them look bad. You grow up thinking that everyone will shun you if they find out that you don’t want to get married by the time you’re 30, which only makes it worse when certain people do it to you personally because they know how much it hurts.
It doesn’t help when everyone around you is doing the same things either. Friends who have reservations about marriage are shamed for not having found someone yet while those who have already locked down their future spouse are looked at as failures if they haven’t yet tied down their significant other with children and a house and etcetera, etcetera.
It immediately makes you feel inadequate and like there isn’t anything wrong with not wanting all this pressure and expectations thrown your way for being yourself unless the people in your life wish otherwise for some reason or another. So now, even though no one talks about this sort of thing anymore.
Your Worth Comes From What You Do, Not Who You Are
Our society loves to put the spotlight on the people they deem worthy of admiration while they look the other way when it comes to the people they deem unworthy of admiration because of the way they look, the way they act, or other superficial reasons.
No matter how hard you try to fit into their standards for you, you’re still going to be you. No matter how perfect someone is or how much money or status you have or how many Instagram likes you have, you have to remember that in the end, it comes down to what you bring to the table.
It doesn’t matter how many teeth you have, how big your booty is, or how handsome you are in your mind, what people care about is what’s going on inside your head, what you’ve done with your life, and what sort of legacy you leave behind.
Stop Dating Someone Just Because They’re Good To Their Word
When you only date someone because they say “I’m going to marry you one day” or “we’ve been together for five years” or even just “we’re dating,” you’re not dating someone for who they are, you’re dating them for what they can give you.
As soon as you find someone willing to let you be yourself while still caring for you and putting you first, stop immediately dating someone who won’t commit to you because they’re too scared to be alone. The sooner you stop dating someone afraid to be without you, the sooner you’ll have someone to date who truly likes you for you.
Don’t Let People Tell You What To Do With Your Life, Decide That For Yourself
No one can decide for you when you have to get married, have kids, or retire. No one can decide what path you have to follow. No one besides you can decide what sort of life you want to live. No one can make you feel pathetic for not wanting to grow old alone.
No one can make you think you need to be with someone just because or because everyone else is. No one can tell you what to do with your body. No one can tell you what is “normal” “right” or “wrong” because there are no such things.
What people expect from you, what people tell you is how you feel about yourself and how you should live your life, what you should do with your life, is all strictly up to you. You have to decide what you want out of life and make that happen.
Take Responsibility For Who You Are And What You Want Out Of Life
At the end of the day, you have to take responsibility for yourself. You have to realize what you want out of life, where you want to go, and how to get there. You have it for yourself and no one else. As cliché as this may sound, you can’t expect someone else to make you happy.
You have to make yourself happy. You have to realize what you want out of life and work for that. This is for your own sake.
You have to realize that there is no one else who is going to promise you the life of your dreams. You have to realize that if you don’t get it, you have to live with the consequences of that. You have to make sure that you aren’t settling for anything less than you deserve.
Social media, the media, and the world, in general, have created this idea in our heads that you have to get married and have children by a certain age and live a certain way to be complete as a person and have a “fulfilling” life. They have also created the idea that you must have a “fulfilling” relationship to be happy.
They have created the idea that you must be with someone and in a relationship to be considered “complete.” This is not true. You do not need anyone or anything to be happy.
You only need yourself and the things you enjoy. You only need to work for what you want out of life. You only need to work for your happiness. If you want to be happy, you have to make yourself happy.
What To Do If You’re Ready To Get Back Out There
If you’ve read this entire article and are ready to get back out there, here are some steps you can take.
- Start Smiling At The Bus Stop Again – This is one of the most important things you can do. A smile is the greatest gift you can give anyone. Opening your mouth and showing someone your teeth is more powerful than words can ever be. It’s an amazing way to make other people feel good and can even help you forget about your problems for a while.
- Put Yourself First – This is what the authors meant in the first place. You can’t be happy if you aren’t making yourself happy. Stop settling for anything less than you deserve and make sure you look after yourself. This is the most important step you can take.
- Stop Reading Dating Advice Articles – Dating advice articles are great for getting you started, but you might want to put them down for a while. They are only going to make you more anxious if you read them. You can even keep a copy of this article in your drawer for a reminder every once in a while.