Getting dumped for the first time can be a shocker. You might not know what you did wrong, or who could hate you this much. But trust us, there’s a pattern to being dumped, and that pattern is probably the reason why your new love interest has left you in the dust. It may feel like nothing but pure luck that your new acquaintance has chosen to date you instead of keeping their distance or passing you over for someone else.
Dating someone is always a risk, but it isn’t a big risk if you know the signs that someone might be dating a creep.
A red flag in any relationship is when one person tries to dominate the other. Be it by constantly checking up on them, following them around, or making them feel small, these are all classic signs that someone isn’t right for you and they just want to control you.
Here are 7 red flags that mean you should run as far away from your new love interest as possible:
You had a conversation with your new date and they subtly dominated
If your date tries to take charge of the conversation, subtly tells you what to think, or simply just tries to take over your brain, the person is either trying to be controlling and domineering, or they have severe anxiety and insecurity. Both of these personality traits can cause people to try and control others, but they don’t work well in a healthy relationship.
A person who wants to dominate in a relationship usually has a lot of self-esteem issues and doesn’t understand how to work things out with someone else. However, someone who is dominant in a relationship does so because they have a secure and strong sense of who they are. Both types of people can be in a healthy and loving relationship. If this is the case with your new date, try to be as respectful as possible and avoid dominating the conversation.
They constantly check up on you to make sure you’re “ alright” and not upset
One of the best ways to show someone you care is to respect their boundaries and space. Someone who constantly checks up on you, makes you feel guilty for not being available all the time, or makes you feel like you need to be “ alright” with them is probably not someone you want to date. No one has the right to tell you to be happy or that you need to be OK with them.
If you’re dating a creep who does any of these things, you must immediately end the relationship. If you’re dating someone like this, it is likely because they were abused or had bad experiences with previous partners. And while you might be tempted to blame them, you can’t. Abuse is never OK and it is never your fault.
They constantly say how much they care about you, but only when it’s convenient for them
When someone “ cares” about you, they put a lot of effort into showing you that they care. They don’t just care when they’re convenient. If someone is constantly saying that they care, it’s because they do. They’re just as genuine as they are when they are “ being nice.”
Your new date should be the type of person who does nice things without being asked, who walks up and says “ Hi!” when you walk into a room instead of “ Hey,” who compliments you when you look nice, who calls you when they say they will call, who asks you how your day went or who cares when you don’t want to be cared for. If your date isn’t doing any of these things, they probably aren’t interested in being in a relationship with you.
They always come up with excuses as to why they can’t be around you
This is a sign that your new love interest is extremely anxious and trying to avoid any form of intimacy. If your date always has an excuse as to why they can’t be with you, there is probably a lot of fear and anxiety behind their behaviour.
This can be a sign that they have been abused in the past, or that they have some sort of social phobia. And while there isn’t a cure for social phobia, there are things you can do to help. If your date is exhibiting a lot of excuses, find a therapist you trust, or try getting some advice on how to help your date.
Things escalate suddenly and out of nowhere — there’s no trigger or build-up
Dating someone is a lot like a roller coaster ride. You go up and down and side to side, you ride through different emotions, and you get to see things from a different perspective. However, there is a big difference between dating and being in a relationship.
You are allowed to get off the ride, walk down the path and choose to ride again when you want to, but with one significant difference. You can’t get back on that ride with someone else. While there is a lot of entertainment value and thrill to dating a creep, people who are in a relationship know that there is a lot more to it than just getting their hearts pounded by a little roller coaster.
Dating someone is always a risk, but it isn’t a big risk if you know the signs that someone might be dating a creep. Dating someone interested in you, building a connection, and who cares about you, is a lot more rewarding than finding someone who just wants to have fun and doesn’t want a relationship.
If there is even a slight fear of intimacy coming from your new love interest, they might not be ready to be in a relationship with you yet. Dating someone who has been hurt or abused in the past, or who has some sort of social phobia might also be a sign that they aren’t ready for a relationship with you, either.
There are better people out there for you, and they aren’t as creepy when you are dating a creep. Once you find someone ready for a relationship, who wants to be in it for the long haul, who has a lot of love to give, who cares about you, and who is willing to work on their issues, hold on for the ride of your life.