Have a healthy dating game by remembering the Do’s and Don’ts
We all are aware of how dating works and how it has a huge potential to know about another person but very few people have all the right tools to be everlasting.
Dating and a relationship are fragile, one wrong move and all the efforts are in vain. There are a few simple and easy-to-remember do’s and don’ts which you should consider while being in a relationship or the dating game.
Dating is magical when you know what you are doing and what you should expect. We have heard other people’s experiences of how unfulfilling and unsettling their relationship was and how they have invested so much time and energy but the other person was not what they were expecting.
Here are Do’s and Don’ts for the early and later stages of dating
Let’s get rid of the word catfish because every time someone uses that word, there is someone who feels ripped off, discouraged, and tired of dating. It’s happened to a lot of us and the drive home is not cool. They didn’t just look like their photos. It was like meeting a whole different person when they showed up.
If all your photos are the best photos you’ve ever taken in your life, you might be starting with your date being disappointed. Now you better be charming to the core to dig yourself out of that hole.
Do show yourself
If you pretend to be someone you’re not, you’ll just be kicking yourself in the ass when they realize you’re not who they thought you were. I get that in the beginning, you want to show your best self, especially if you’re into someone. And I get that it takes time to completely show ourselves. I mean we’re not going to act how we would around our best friends and siblings. But ultimately, as you guys peel the layers, you have to show your true self. You have to show who you are, your shirt comings and all. You have to be you. On purpose. If not, it’s called false advertising.
Don’t protect your heart
What?! Why would anyone not protect their heart? Well, it’s like life. You can protect yourself by living behind your fear walls and you’ll end up creating a wall around your heart. you will learn, grow, and evolve. But most importantly, feel something. Because that’s what life is about.
Being vulnerable is part of dating, especially in the early stages of a new relationship, so you shouldn’t feel any shame in sharing about past relationships (or anything else, for that matter). No one expects perfection, so hiding experiences that shape you into who you currently are isn’t necessary. Be vulnerable to them.
Do Respect Yourself
Treating yourself well sets an example of how your partner should treat you, and it signifies what you will and will not tolerate. “There’s nothing wrong with being principled, knowing yourself, and being yourself,” Campbell offers. “Do things for yourself, too.” If they call you with an impromptu date invitation, but you need a self-care night to put on a face mask and snuggle with your furry friend, suggest a different day for date night.
Don’t Have Sex Too Soon
We live in sex-positive times, meaning we don’t believe that you should wait until a certain amount of time goes by before having sex with your new partner for the first time. The time to get under the sheets is different for every couple: there is no such thing as too soon or too long. The right time is when both people are 100% ready. The worst thing you can do in a new relationship is to have sex before you feel ready because you’re worried they’ll lose interest in you if you wait and might leave.
Do Communicate Well
Say what you mean and mean what you say, be direct and considerate about how you feel and what opinions you have, because not doing so might set up false expectations, choose wisely and treat your partner well, and avoid destructive things like yelling, insulting, dominating, and judging. You may notice that you can read your childhood friends’ minds because you know them so well, but that kind of closeness comes with time and, unfortunately, years together is the one thing you and your new partner don’t have. You can’t expect them to be able to guess what you’re thinking, so be as communicative as you possibly can.
Communication doesn’t just mean expressing where you want to go for dinner or what you like in bed. It means to express your state and where you’re at. Yes, your feelings. How are you feeling? What’s coming up for you? Express your fears and concerns. Dating itself is a mini relationship
Don’t blow up the phone
Every date can feel like a first date in a new relationship because there’s so much to know about the person like where you went to school, what was the best vacation or how many pets you had while growing up, among about a thousand other topics to know and ask. But save these questions for in-person dates and not over the phone. Being constantly over the phone is tiresome for a lot of people and constant calls may give out a negative and desperate image of you.
Give them the space they want, their earlier experience might lack time and space.
Do Maintain Independence
Spending every waking moment with a new partner can put you at risk of losing yourself and your friends. In the most long-lasting relationships, partners maintain their sense of independence by seeing family and friends and socialising. Continue being in the daily routine and also prioritize alone-time when needed. Balance is important for everyone and everything and If you make your whole life about your new partner, then you might end up putting a lot of pressure on the relationship to be your sole source of happiness and fulfilment.
Do Watch Out for Red Flags
If your new love criticizes you, makes plans without knowing your opinion or involvement or repeatedly cancels the dates. If you ignore the red flags, you are just prolonging the inevitable death of the relationship.
If you catch them in a lie, you see them treating others poorly or they might look down on people well in that case they are probably not worth investing your love, time and energy for the long-term, it’s easy to throw on a pair of rose-coloured glasses when you really like someone because you want to see the best in them and ignore the worst, but it’s important to see all of someone, not just the things which you want to see.
Don’t Be Close-Minded
Try to remain open to trying new foods, hearing opinions, participating in new activities and trying out new things. The start of a new relationship ought to be light, non-sensitive and fun.
Things can grow serious with time. But maybe keep the conversations about highly controversial or sensitive topics to a minimum in the beginning.
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